I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time finding the right Christmas gifts for my family and friends. I mean… what do you give a mob boss who has a ton of money and everything he could ever ask for? So this year, I thought it would be fun to give Uncle Joey and his hitman, Ramos, t-shirts with funny sayings on them. But even that is proving hard. So I’m hoping you can help me pick the right one.
These are my my choices for Ramos. The first one I found says “If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.” Since I can read minds, it’s perfect, right? He teases me enough that I feel like punching him, although I’m not sure he’d think it was funny. What do you think? Here’s another one that could work. It says “I work out because punching people is frowned upon.” That’s a possibility – but then, he really does punch people, and he doesn’t think it’s so bad, so which one is better?
I found several that I thought might work for Uncle Joey, but I need your advice on that as well. The first one says, “Don’t piss off old people, the older we get the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.” Saying he’s old might upset him, but the rest of it is funny. Here’s another one I found for him. It says “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” And “I am not like a boss, I am the boss.” Or “I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.” And finally, “The Big Bo$$.” So which of those do you think I should get?
Naturally, I found a couple that would work for me. One says, “My boss told me to embrace my fear, so I hug my boss.” Cool, right? Here’s another one, “My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.” Hahaha! But since I’m getting shirts for them and not me, probably not.
I also found one for Dimples that I’ll probably give him. It says, “Stupid people keep me employed” and it has a police car and badge on it. There’s another one that says “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” So which one of those should I get?
Last, I found one for Jackie, the person who really runs Uncle Joey’s office. It says, “Queen of the Office” and I found another one that says, “Secretary: noun. 1. An individual who does precise guess-work based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also wizard, miracle worker.” I’m not sure about those either, so if you have a preference, let me know!
So here’s my multiple choice list for your vote.
Ramos: A – “If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.” or B – “I work out because punching people is frowned upon.”
Uncle Joey: A – “Don’t piss off old people, the older we get the less ‘life in prison’ is a deterrent.” or B – “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” or C – “I am not like a boss, I am the boss.” or D – I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.” or E – “The Big Bo$$.”
Dimples – A – “Stupid people keep me employed” or B – “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
Jackie: A -“Queen of the Office” or B – “Secretary: noun. 1. An individual who does precise guess-work based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. See also wizard, miracle worker.”
So there you go! I hope you’ll take a minute to vote so I can get my Christmas shopping done!! Thanks so much – also here’s one for you: “A day without reading is like…. just kidding, I have no idea.”
Until next time!
~Shelby
Shelby Nichols Consulting 