Archive for December, 2020

Holiday Hijinks

Posted: December 11, 2020 in Experiences, Thoughts
Tags: ,

All my kids wanted for Christmas was a PlayStation 5. If you know anything about PlayStations, you know this is the newest and most sought after PlayStation in the history of PlayStations, and getting one is like winning the lottery. So… being the wonderful mom that I am, I dutifully put in all the time and effort… including a deal with the devil… to track one down.

So… besides all the time it took to actually order, pay for it, and have it delivered… this happened….

On delivery day, I didn’t want to take any chances that someone would steal it off my porch. So I used my tracking number to pin down the estimated time of delivery. Then I waited, watching out the window for the delivery truck to show up. It got tedious, but, after all of my previous effort, it didn’t matter how long I had to wait by the window and stare out into the street, I would make sure I got that PlayStation or die trying.

At long last, the truck pulled up in front of my house, causing my heart to race with excitement. Not wanting to wait another minute, I opened my door and stood out in the cold while the delivery guy got my package. It seemed to take him a long time to leave the truck, and I was starting to shiver in the cold, but I couldn’t go inside now.

Finally, he hopped out of the truck, carrying a big box with the PlayStation logo on the outside. Seeing me, he hesitated a second before continuing up to the porch. I smiled to put him at ease and gushed out my thanks. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Yup.” That what he said, but he was thinking, if you want an air fryer.

In case you don’t know… I have the rare gift of reading minds. His thought brought me up short and my brow furrowed. He handed it to me, and I looked him in the eye. “This is a PlayStation 5, right?”

He wasn’t expecting that, and his eyes widened. “Of course. That’s what it says right on the box. Have a good day.” Clearly uneasy, he rushed back to his truck, wondering why was I questioning him. There was no way I could know that he’d switched them out.

“Wait!” I yelled. “Don’t you have to scan the box or something?”

He glanced over his shoulder. “Uh… I already did.”

As he closed up the back of his truck, I ran into the house, ditched the box, and jumped into my car. He drove off, but I managed to back out of my driveway in time to follow him. He went a few blocks before making another stop, and I took that moment to put a call through to Ramos, my friend, and a hitman for the mob.

I wasn’t about to let this guy get away with robbing me of my prize, and I knew Ramos was my best chance of getting it back.

“Hey Babe, what’s up?”

“The delivery guy stole my PlayStation 5. I’m following him around so he won’t get away with it, but I could use some help.” I kept him on the phone while following the truck to his next stop, relaying all the pertinent details about where I was.

“I’m on my way. Don’t lose him.”

Just knowing Ramos was coming helped calm me down, but I was so angry, I could hardly see straight. At the guy’s next stop, I wrote down his license plate number, just to be on the safe side. I also got a little closer to his truck than I should have, but he hadn’t seemed to notice me yet.

At the truck’s fourth stop, Ramos arrived, pulling up beside me in his black sports car. After giving me a nod, he parked his car in front of the delivery truck, boxing it in, and I pulled up behind it. This was a perfect spot for a confrontation, since the delivery guy had stopped on a lonely stretch of road with only a few houses.

After dropping off a package, the delivery guy jumped into his truck and noticed Ramos had blocked him in. “Hey!” He yelled at Ramos. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Ramos got out of his car and shrugged. “Oh… am I in your way?”

Before the guy could answer, I made it to the other side of the open doorway and stepped inside the truck. His head whipped around to see me holding my stun flashlight at him.

“What the hell?” The flashlight didn’t scare him, but the look in my eyes finally registered, and he took a step back.

“You stole my PlayStation 5, and if you don’t give it to me right now, I’m calling the police.”

“Go ahead,” he said, deciding to call my bluff. “You have no proof, and I’ll be happy to tell them you’re threatening me.”

“Where is it?” I asked, not the least bit worried. He was thinking that he had it stashed next to his seat in the air fryer box.

“You’re crazy, lady. Now get out of my truck.” He moved toward me, thinking he’d shove me out if he had to. Lucky for me, he’d forgotten all about Ramos.

At that moment, Ramos stepped inside the cab and pushed the guy into the back, up against the side of the truck. “How much do you want to live?” Ramos’s hand came around the delivery guy’s throat causing his eyes to bulge.

“Stop… you’re… choking me. Okay,” he gasped. “It’s under… the seat.”

“No it’s not,” I said. “He put it in an air fryer box.” I searched through the boxes behind his seat until I finally spotted the right one. “Here it is.” I pulled the hastily taped flap open, and there it was. My PlayStation 5.

“Is everything there?” Ramos asked.

I found all the paperwork, and examined it. “Yes. It’s all here.” After pushing everything back into the box, I picked it up and stood. Ramos still held the guy down and I gave him my fiercest look. “I really want to stun you.”

I slid my gaze to Ramos. “Can I stun him?” I held my stun flashlight where the delivery guy could see it, and slowly moved it toward his face. Just to scare him, I pushed the button. The tongs flickered and buzzed, sparking and sounding just like a downed electrical line.

The guy jerked back, hitting his head against the side of the truck.

Ramos’s lips quirked up and he tried not to smile. He glanced the delivery guy’s way. “What do you say?”

Looking between us, the guy swallowed. “Look… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. Okay? Just take it and go… You’ve got your PlayStation now… it’s all cool. Just let me go. We can forget this ever happened.”

That hardly seemed fair to me, but we’d been sitting there long enough that I was afraid one of the neighbors might get suspicious and call the police, and I didn’t want to deal with that. Still… it wasn’t right that he just got away with it.

“Okay. Fine. But I want your name in case I change my mind.”

He gave it to me, and I checked the lanyard around his neck to make sure it matched. “Don’t forget that I know how to find you.” He swallowed and nodded again. I glanced at Ramos. “Okay, let’s go.”

Ramos waited until I stepped out of the truck before he released the guy. As I backed my car up, Ramos did the same, and the delivery guy took off pretty fast. Ramos pulled behind me and got out of his car. As he came to my door. I rolled down the window, and he leaned in close.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so mad,” he said. “It was downright scary.”

I heaved out a breath. “If you knew what I’d been through for that PlayStation, you’d understand.”

“I can imagine… I’ve heard they’re pretty scarce, so it makes perfect sense. I’m glad you got it back.”

“Yeah… thanks to you.”

He grinned. “Oh… I’m not sure you needed me all that much, but I’m happy to help. Besides that… now you owe me.”

I huffed. “Yeah… I guess so. What do you want?” Realizing what I’d said, the blood rushed to my face, and my eyes widened. “Uh… I mean within reason… of course.”

He chuckled. Then he got that wicked gleam in his eyes. “A round of pool at the Tiki Tabu, and wear that black shirt… you know which one I mean.” He was thinking about the shirt with the round neck-line that I’d worn the last time we were there. It tended to gape open every time I took a shot.

“Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

I tried to come up with a way out, but I couldn’t think of a single thing. So I tried to put it off. “Fine. But it might have to wait until after Christmas… you know… because it’s such a busy time of year.”

He pursed his lips and shook his head. “Tomorrow… at noon.” His brow lifted and I knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Okay… I’ll be there.”

“Good. See you then.”

He got into his car and took off, leaving me sitting in a daze. What had I just agreed to? Dang. Oh well… at least I got the PlayStation back, so that was good. And playing pool with Ramos was probably getting off lightly. Ha! Who was I kidding… to be honest, I looked forward to it, and that probably made me a bad person. It was like playing with fire, but I didn’t have much of a choice, right?

So… see what I mean about a deal with the devil? What I do for my kids…