Posts Tagged ‘lawyers’

The Dinner Party Disaster

Posted: January 28, 2026 in Advice, Consulting, Experiences, Thoughts
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11

I should have known the dinner party was doomed when Chris said, ‘Just act normal for three hours. That’s all I’m asking.'”

Normal. Right. Because juggling a consulting business, helping a homicide detective solve murders, and working for a mob boss is totally normal. But I love my husband, and he rarely asks me for anything, so I was determined to pull this off.

The stakes were pretty simple: Chris’s colleagues at the firm had been hearing rumors about my “unusual” PI work. Some had also noticed that Chris now represents Joe E. Manetto as a client, and apparently people gossip about that sort of thing. Who knew? So Chris invited two couples from the firm over for dinner to prove that we’re completely normal, professional people living a completely normal, professional life.

I spent all day preparing. I made Chris’s favorite pot roast, cleaned the house until it sparkled, and even bought a new blouse that screamed “respectable lawyer’s wife.” I had this handled.

The guests arrived right on time: Michael and his wife Erin, plus Kristin (the newest senior partner) and her husband Tom. Everyone was polite, complimentary, perfectly pleasant. And that’s when my other superpower kicked in—the one Chris really wishes I didn’t have.

Because while Michael was saying, “Shelby, your home is lovely,” he was thinking, How does a woman like her end up working as a PI for the mob? Something’s fishy here. And Erin was wondering what I actually did for a mob boss and how much truth there was to my ‘psychic’ abilities. At the same time Kristin was analyzing whether Chris was stretching the legal limits for his ‘special’ clients, and hoped it wouldn’t get the firm in trouble.

Only Tom seemed genuine—mainly because he was mentally planning his fantasy football lineup and not paying attention to anything.

I smiled through the appetizers, served the salad, and was just starting to think I might actually pull this off when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Uncle Joey. Need you. Urgent.

I excused myself to “check on the roast” and called him from the kitchen. “What’s going on?”

“Shelby. I’m at the club and I need you to come and find out if Branigan is cheating me.”

“Cheating?” I frantically stirred gravy with one hand while holding the phone with the other. “I’m kind of busy right now.”

“It’s urgent. I’ve been losing to him all night.”

“What? Is this about–” Kristin walked in to refill her wine glass. Before I blurted ‘a poker game,’ I quickly pivoted. “Uh… sure I get it, but I’m with my family right now… can you take a break or something?”

Kristin’s thoughts hit me loud and clear, she takes calls during dinner? Chris must be mortified.

“I’ll call you back.” I knew Uncle Joey wouldn’t like that, but this dinner was important to me.

Luckily, we made it through the main course with only minor incidents—like when I kept glancing at Michael and Erin and accidentally responded to their thoughts about their dog. But being a dog-owner myself, I couldn’t help it.

“So, Shelby, how’s the PI business going?” Michael asked.

“Oh, you know, the usual murder investigations and mob consulting—” I caught myself. “I mean, the usual consultations for various clients. Very normal. Very legal.”

Chris kicked me under the table.

Then my phone buzzed again. Holding it under the table, I read: I’ve got a suspect in interrogation. Does he look familiar to you? It was from Dimples and he included a photo.

Somehow, my phone slipped out of my hand and clattered onto the floor, landing face-up right in front of Michael—with a mugshot of a very rough-looking suspect filling the screen. He picked it up and handed it to me.

“Oh! Thank you.” I grabbed it. “That’s just… my cousin. He’s, uh, having a rough time.”

Michael’s brows rose. “Oh. That’s too bad.” But he was thinking that my cousin looked like a career criminal, and wondered what kind of family I came from.

Chris’s fork paused halfway to his open mouth and his eyes bulged. I gave him a smile and a little shrug, but I couldn’t help hearing that he wondered why I had my phone at the table, and next time, he was locking it in the safe. That seemed extreme, but he might have a point.

As I was about to serve dessert—homemade apple pie that I’d actually nailed—the doorbell rang.

My pulse raced. Nobody was supposed to ring our doorbell. The kids and our dog were at their friend’s houses, and I had specifically told everyone else that tonight was off-limits. “Uh… excuse me.”

I hurried to the door to find Ramos standing there in full leather jacket and motorcycle boots glory. My heart dropped into my stomach.

“Uncle Joey sent me,” he said calmly. “You blew him off.”

“I’m having a dinner party!”

“I can see that.” He glanced past me at the table full of lawyers in business casual, thinking that I’d picked a lousy night to make a good impression.

In the dining room, Chris was thinking, please don’t let that be who I think it is.

Crap. I tried to decide if it was better to shove Ramos back out the door, or risk introducing him. The choice was taken from me when Kristin poked her head around the doorway. Smiling, I led Ramos into the dining room. “Hey everyone. This is my coworker. He just needed something, and then he’ll be on his way.”

The reaction was immediate. Both Kristin and Erin were thinking, WHO is THAT? Kristin’s internal monologue went into overdrive. Erin was mentally assessing if I was having an affair, and she felt sorry for Chris. Tom suddenly started paying attention. Michael was thinking that Ramos looked like muscle for the mob.

I mentally smacked my head against the wall and tried to usher Ramos back into the hallway. Naturally, my phone rang with the Scooby-Doo ringtone. Everyone froze and stared at me. I quickly answered. “Hey, can I call you back?” Before he could answer, I disconnected and glanced at the group. “Sorry. A client.”

Then my phone started playing The Godfather, and I wanted to throw it down the hall.

“You’d better answer that,” Ramos said, his lips twisting to hold back a smile.

Everyone stared at me, and I stood there like a dummy with my mouth hanging open. That’s when I smelled smoke. “Oh no! The pie!”

I ran to the kitchen, but it was too late. Black smoke poured out of the oven. The smoke alarm started shrieking. Everyone evacuated to the yard while I frantically waved a dish towel at the detector. I made the mistake of opening the oven, only to have more smoke pour into the room.

Coughing, Ramos guided me out to the lawn. Taking a breath, I glanced at the group. Ramos was trying not to laugh, Chris looked like he wanted to disappear, and our guests looked like they’d just confirmed every rumor they’d ever heard about us.

Michael was thinking I was totally connected to organized crime. Erin was thinking that if Ramos was a coworker, no wonder I kept working for a mob boss. Kristin thought that the rumors had to be true and that Chris was mixed up in something that could be illegal, and Tom was thinking that this was the best dinner party he’d been to in years.

Michael suggested they “head out early.” As they left, Kristin thought that poor Chris certainly had his hands full with me for a wife, and she felt a little sorry for him.

As Chris ushered them out, Ramos disconnected the shrieking smoke alarm. “Next time you have a dinner party, just tell them you work for the mob. Less suspicious that way.”

Chris walked in at exactly that moment. “Please tell me that’s a joke.”

Ramos and I exchanged a glance.

“Of course it’s a joke, honey,” I said.

Chris shook his head, he thought the dinner party was a disaster because now everyone believed we were in the mob. Maybe he should start practicing criminal defense?

Ramos picked up my phone from where I’d dropped it on the floor and handed it over. “I’ll tell Manetto what happened. I’m sure he’ll figure out a way for you to make it up to him.” His lips twisting, he disappeared out the door.

I gave Chris a hopeful smile. “Maybe it’s not so bad. I’m sure they liked the food. By tomorrow, they’ll think it was just a series of unfortunate events, and have a good laugh.”

Shaking his head, he gathered me in his arms, thinking that he’d learned his lesson, and he’d never do anything like that again. “Come on. Let’s clean up this mess.”

The next day at the firm, Michael told everyone the dinner party was “memorable.” Chris says that’s lawyer-speak for “bizarre but we’re too polite to say so.”

At least Kristin’s husband sent a thank-you note saying it was the most entertaining evening he’d had in years.

Based on that, maybe it wasn’t so bad? What do you think? Should I count that as a win?

Thanks for reading!!

Until next time!

XOXO,

Shelby

What is Normal?

Posted: October 3, 2017 in Experiences, Thoughts
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Sometimes I’m not sure what “normal” is anymore. Just the other night, I was sitting down to dinner with my family. Eating dinner together is important to me, because it’s a way to connect and keep informed of what’s going on in our busy lives. Dinner together doesn’t always happen, so I looked forward to chatting with my husband and two teenage kids.

Chris, my husband, asked Josh and Savannah how their day went. They weren’t too forthcoming, but with my mind-reading ability, I picked up lots of things that mattered to them. I don’t usually like to invade their privacy, but when they don’t want to talk much, I just can’t seem to help it.

At least what I picked up wasn’t earth-shattering, or out of the ordinary. But at thirteen and fifteen, and with their hormones kicking in, there were times it was just better not to know… mostly because it was hard not to roll my eyes because of all that teen angst. Still, it made me glad I could draw them out with a comment or two, and help them deal with whatever it was that bothered them.

I asked Chris about his day, and he said it went really well. He’d even made a breakthrough in one of his cases that would help his client, so he was pretty happy about that.

Then it was my turn, and everyone glanced my way. Suddenly, things weren’t so clear, and I didn’t know what to say. I mean… do I tell them about my meeting with Uncle Joey, where he had me listen to an investor who was trying to swindle him out of a huge sum of money?

What about the motorcycle ride I went on with Ramos so I could let him know what the person receiving a package was really going to do with it?

Or how about the murder suspect I listened to for Dimples, whom it turned out was hiding behind a wall of grief to mask his joy of poisoning his mother-in-law?

Right then, none of that was anything I wanted to share. But I had to say something, so I glossed over the stuff with Uncle Joey and Ramos by saying that I ran a few errands in the morning, specifically leaving out the motorcycle part. Not that it was bad, but you know… it’s Ramos, and I may have enjoyed that part the most.

That little flush of guilt made me emphasize the part about helping the police catch a killer, so no one would ask me about my errands. That did the trick, and it was fun to tell them a little about the case, and how many poisonous plants people had in their own homes that could kill someone.

I may have gone on too long about the poisonous-plant-part, because everyone went quiet with widened eyes, and stared at me like I was a crazy person.

Then Josh smiled and thought that was pretty cool, even though he didn’t say it. Savannah’s thoughts filled with admiration that I could help the police like I did. But Chris was thinking that I shouldn’t be talking about an ongoing investigation. As a lawyer, he was probably right, so I quickly told them not to tell anyone.

I shouldn’t have worried. My kids had learned not to share much about me because what I did just wasn’t normal. Of course, they didn’t know the truth that I could read minds, but thought I had ‘premonitions,’ which was how I wanted to keep it. At least they thought it was cool, so it didn’t hurt my feelings too much.

It also made me realize that my normal wasn’t really normal at all. Around everyone else, I have to keep most things to myself, which isn’t always easy to do. But most of the time I manage just fine.

Still, it hit me all at once how crazy my life had become. But it also gave me a little thrill to be different. Of course, that thrill didn’t include the times I’d nearly been killed. Looking at my family, I knew that part wasn’t so good.

See what I mean about being normal? Maybe it’s not so bad, but thinking about my normal life before I could read minds, and my abnormal life after I could read minds… for the most part, I’m glad to be abnormal, even if there’s a lot of stuff I have to keep to myself.

 

 

 

When Things Go Right

Posted: November 15, 2016 in Advice, Experiences, Thoughts
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3

I know it’s rude to just drop in on people, but sometimes if you really want to know what’s going on, that’s the best way to find out.

So today, I decided to stop by Chris’ office and see how things were going. He has this gorgeous new secretary – er – executive assistant, who kind of has the hots for him. Because she sometimes forgets, I’ve learned that it’s a good idea to stop by to remind her that my husband is not up for grabs.

I exited the elevator and made my way to Chris’ office. I found Elise sitting at her desk with her head down. As I approached, she glanced up with an expression of sadness which quickly changed into a smile for my benefit. She greeted me pleasantly enough, telling me that Chris was in court, but underneath that I picked up that she was barely holding herself together.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Uh… nothing,” she said, lying through her teeth. Her mind went to the results of her LSAT and how she’d just missed getting a good enough score to go to law school. If only she could get someone to help her study. Maybe if she told Chris, he could help her, and she could take the test again. That way she could spend more one-on-one time with him, and get the help she needed. Win-win.

I wanted to say, “Hell, no!” but managed to keep my mouth shut. Instead, I asked her when Chris would be back, and if I should wait.

“You could,” she answered. “But he might be an hour or so.” She didn’t really want me around, mostly because it reminded her that Chris was off limits.

Just then, Ethan came around the corner with a stack of files. He was a junior associate at the firm and Chris was mentoring him. Ethan had a few secrets of his own, and one was a connection to the district attorney’s office. They wanted him to snitch on Chris in order to get to Uncle Joey.

“Mrs. Nichols,” Ethan said. “Nice to see you.” He knew that I’d told him several times to call me Shelby, but he just couldn’t do it. My presence also reminded him that Chris was a good guy with a great family, and guilt swamped over him that he was supposed to spy on Chris. He wished there was a way out of that.

“Hey Ethan,” I answered. “You too. Uh… how did you do on your LSATS?”

“Pretty good,” he said, thinking that he had one of the highest scores possible, and wondering why I asked.

“Great. Did you know that Elise is studying for the exam?” I caught a blast of surprise from both of them before Ethan answered.

“No, I didn’t.” He turned to Elise. “That’s great. How’s it coming?”

She stared at me, thoroughly confused at how I knew, then swallowed and glanced at Ethan. “Uh… I already took it, but I didn’t pass. I know all this stuff, but taking timed tests just freaks me out.”

Ethan nodded, thinking that he’d been trying to figure out a way to talk to Elise outside of the office. Maybe helping her would get him a date. “I could help you, if you’d like. I got a pretty good score and maybe you just need a good coach.”

Elise nodded, then smiled at him. He was cute in his own way, and spending time with him might be fun. Not as great as with Chris… but Ethan was a smart guy and knew his stuff. “That would be great.”

As they worked out the details, I told them goodbye, and left the office with a smile, knowing I’d just killed two birds with one stone.

Now Elise had someone besides Chris to focus on, and Ethan might be distracted with her enough to forget about spying on Chris for a while. I always liked it when things went right for a change. Now if only I could count on that happening all the time!